The Terrifying Side of Creating Space

In coaching relationships we talk about creating space for what you want. The idea is that you need to get rid of the clutter - literally and metaphorically in your life. You need to clean out your closets. Get rid of the stuff that doesn’t fit you, doesn’t work for you, doesn’t represent who you are now. Say goodbye. 

It’s part of the process that you need to go through when you want to live from your center. When you are ready to create a life that reflects who you are and what you value you need to take a look at your current reality. You have crafted your current life to support the life you are living right now. It makes sense that if you want something different you need to start to make different choices. 

In becoming more aligned with your true self, you will need to make some hard decisions about your life. Are there relationships that are holding you back?  Are you doing things that don’t reflect your changing values? Is your environment working against the progress you want to see in your life? Just like a person going on a diet purges her cupboards of empty calorie foods, you will need to do a purge in your life. 

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We refer to this process as ‘creating space’ for what you want.

But here is the scary part of creating life change. When you end relationships, clear out the physical clutter in your house, and get rid of the things that aren’t working for you or serving the greater purpose of supporting you in the life you desire, the space isn’t filled immediately. 

You need to start slowly filling the closet with clothes that fit and reflect your lifestyle and values. You need to find relationships and community that fill the void if you have moved on from people who were holding you back in some way. Once you have let go of what isn’t working, you need to start again. 

Everything in you will want to hurry this process. You will feel lonely. You may question your decision. You may find the new clothes don’t feel comfortable yet. They don’t quite fit the way you imagined. You may feel like an imposter. You may find yourself standing in line - literally and metaphorically - at that cheap fast fashion store with an armful of clothes to try on even though you know in your heart you want to only buy ethically sourced, environmentally responsible clothes. It takes commitment and determination to set it down and walk away. Again. 

Nature abhors a vacuum and you’ve created one. A big empty space waiting to be filled.

And creating space for what you really want is a good thing. It took courage. Be proud of that empty closet and the space you have created. Slowly it will fill again with the good things that you desire in your heart. Remind yourself that it takes time. That the discomfort you are feeling is not an indication you have made a wrong decision. Hold the space. Put a note in your physical closet to remind yourself. Write in your calendar, “Weekends soon to be filled with life-giving activities.” Trust that you will fill those spaces again and it doesn’t have to be today. 

You’ve created the space, hold your intention for the life you want and be open. Even if you are terrified.