Attachment
It is my annual tradition to adopt a theme that reflects my hopes for the coming year. For the first time I added a vision board to the mix. It was a good process to go through and although I don’t consider myself an artist – especially in the area of collage – I had fun creating this board. It is 12X12 and I plan to frame it and hang it in my office.
My theme this year is ‘letting go‘. The past 12 months were marked by transition and in the midst of the upheaval I felt at times that I was holding on to things and wanting them to remain the same. This year I want to ‘let go’ of the past, of fear, of worry, of doubt, and of anxiety. I want to ‘let go’ of things as well. It surprises me how attached I can become to material possessions. One of the ways I am practicing ‘letting go’ is by getting rid of one thing a day. Most days is not a challenge at all. I think as the year goes on and I get beyond the superficial stuff it might get harder.
This past week I got rid of a nice Diesel bag I had purchased a couple of years ago. I could count on my fingers the number of times I used it and I have not used it once in the past 18 months. I really struggled giving it away. I have no idea why! I don’t use it. It was just a bag. I paid under $100 so it was a big ticket item. Why are some things easy to let go and others a struggle to clear out?
I’m sure I will discover just how attached I am on a deeper level to things as the year goes on. I was reading Presence by Peter Senge, et al, over Christmas. This quote on letting go inspired me:
If we are able to integrate changes and the sense of loss that may accompany them, we take the steps towards letting go and ‘moving on’ in our lives. We will become aware of our ability to make transitions in our life without feeling overwhelmed and destabilised.
These same authors defined the idea of detachment as “getting to the different place”. So that is what this year is about for me – getting to the different place.
Courage
Today I’ve been noticing acts of courage in people all around me. Here’s just a few of them:
- Courage to consider options that might be painful
- Courage to say no
- Courage to say yes
- Courage to post something online and be vulnerable to other people’s comments
- Courage to quit
- Courage to stay
- Courage to believe that tomorrow might be better
If you wait to do everything until your sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. – Win Borden
I’m grateful for all the courageous steps people are taking.
Messed Up
Yesterday I had conversations with two women in their early 20′s. Both of them feel a little messed up. They seem to think that there are answers and they should have things all figured out by now.
I assured them that life is messy and part of growing means being in uncharted territory where you don’t have the answers.
If you think you’ve got it all figured out you are probably not growing. The older I get the more questions I have. I have very little confidence in people who claim to have the answers.
Feeling messed up? Welcome to the club.
Being Selfish
Recently I have become aware of how often I do things because that is what I think other people want me to do. I have been learning to speak from the ‘I’ here at RRU. I am looking at what I want. It’s hard for me to make this shift – not that I was altruistic. The motivation has been often driven my a desire to be liked.
I am trying out this ‘I want’ stuff right now. I want to focus on the things that bring me joy. I know that will mean some changes and I am ready for them!
Back To School
I’m in my 4th week of a MA in Leadership program. It is a goal I have had for a long time and I’m excited to be finally taking steps to accomplish it.
It’s scary to be pursuing this at my stage of life. It’s also a time when I feel that my experience has positioned me well to really process the material I am learning.
I’ve got a great cohort and I look forward to meeting them in person next week when I do the 3 week residency program.
What have you wanted to do for a long time but haven’t made a reality? Why not?
Plan for Uncertainty
This past weekend I’ve been thinking about the future or more clearly that I have no idea what is next. That always freaks me out a little bit. I usually have my planner started for 2011 by this point and have given lots of thought to goals/direction, etc.
I’m being intentional about being during this time but even my faith is a little shaky these days. I know that personally our family has taken a big hit this year and that it takes months to recover emotionally from what we have been through. I know that nothing is guaranteed and that our future plans might as well be written in sand in terms of a guarantee.
I find it difficult to be living with uncertainty. It’s like going on a trip and not know what you’ll be doing – what shoes should I be packing?
Like this:
Introducing “The Expectation Coach”
For years I ‘ve been teaching about change. I frequently use material based on William Bridges book Transitions. Knowing that endings are the first step in change didn’t quite prepare me for going through a major transition. However, knowing that the next stage is the transition stage has certainly helped me encourage my husband as he reinvents himself.
The unexpected benefits of a ‘forced sabbatical’ have given him the time he has dreamed of to write a book that has been brewing for years. Take some time and drop by his blog where he relates life and news experiences to the topic of expectations.
Well Said
One of Larry Crabb’s Lenten readings that seems to be directly related to an experience I’ve had lately. Well Said!
The Noticer
I just finished The Noticer by Andy Andrews. It is the first book that I had read by Andy Andrews although I have ordered another one after reading The Noticer.
I really enjoyed this book. It’s not a heavy read, in fact, it is a great bedtime reading. It is very inspiring and will give you lots of good thoughts as you drift off to sleep.
The story is about a man name ‘Jones’ who appears in peoples lives when they are in crisis and need some moral guidance and perspective. The perspective he gives saves marriages, averts suicides, rescues businesses and restores faith.
There is a great deal of wisdom in this little book. I’ve actually taken my theme for 2010 from it. Early in the story Jones says, “whatever you focus upon, increases.” I’ve been focused on that line this past week.
Our perspective is the one thing that can make a difference in any situation. What are you focused on? Where is you attention going?
The Noticer is a great place to put your attention. The time spent reading this book will be well spent. You’ll find yourself looking at things differently and asking some questions about how you are framing your circumstances in your mind. And we all know the battle begins in the mind.
