December 9, 2011
It’s ALL ABOUT ME!
Every year I choose a theme that helps me focus on the important things I am learning. I am just wrapping up a year of Letting Go and it was a well-chosen theme for 2011. My son moved out, my daughter got married, and I went back to the corporate world just to name a few things. Along the way, I did a lot of reflecting and reading on the topic of Letting Go. I used a great book by Melody Beattie called The Language of Letting Go that helped me focus on the things I needed to work on.
Near the end of the year I started to desire to figure out what I wanted in my life now that I have let go of so much! As I thought about it the theme ‘All About Me’ emerged. I’ve decided to really focus on what I want in my life. What do I believe at this stage? Where am I spiritually? What about career goals? I’ll graduate this year and that will free up some time to pursue other interests. What do I want to pursue?
I am looking forward to 2012 and my new theme!
April 18, 2011
No I Don’t Want To Give a Dollar to Your Cause
The constant requests at the check out to donate a dollar to a cause or charity is becoming a pet peeve of mine. First, it makes no sense from a tax perspective. All those loonies add up and you may as well make a donation and get a tax receipt. I feel like it is designed to put you in a position of giving or feeling like an uncaring person.
This weekend was the icing on the cake. I was shopping in The Bay and the sales associate said to me after she rang in my purchase, “Do you want to donate your HBC points to Japan?” Really? Japan? The government? An agency? Do they have Zellers in Japan? Wow! At least have the courtesy to tell me where my money is going!
How about you? Are you tired of being asked at the check out to make a donation?
And don’t even get me started about the swim team outside the grocery store! Here’s an idea – how about being at the exit and taking my groceries to my car? Then ask me to make a donation – I might be more sympathetic to your cause then.
April 4, 2011
Bigger Kids = Bigger Problems
That’s what someone onc
e told me along with the advice, “Enjoy them while they are young!” At that time I hadn’t slept for 6 hours straight in days and had no idea if I would ever be able to sit quietly and read a book. They were right of course, and here I am now out with my son, looking at purchasing his first condo/loft. Wow!
With a suitable place discovered the conversation now is ‘what do you think I should do?’ I have no idea! There are ups and downs to all of these decisions. Mortgage rates, property values, underemployment – all of these can impact his investment. On the other hand, getting into the housing market at a young age can be a great way for him to begin building his own investments, etc.
With one of my kids getting married and one looking at purchasing property I realize that much of life is a crap shoot. Like me, they will have to make decisions based on the best information possible. The reality is that people change, markets change, they will change and what seemed like a good plan now might have them scratching their heads in a few years.
What I can tell them is – life involves takings risks and leaps of faith. Sometimes you need to make a decision and go for it. That’s what most of us do when we decide to start a family!
January 23, 2011
Attachment
It is my annual tradition to adopt a theme that reflects my hopes for the coming year. For the first time I added a vision board to the mix. It was a good process to go through and although I don’t consider myself an artist – especially in the area of collage – I had fun creating this board. It is 12X12 and I plan to frame it and hang it in my office.
My theme this year is ‘letting go‘. The past 12 months were marked by transition and in the midst of the upheaval I felt at times that I was holding on to things and wanting them to remain the same. This year I want to ‘let go’ of the past, of fear, of worry, of doubt, and of anxiety. I want to ‘let go’ of things as well. It surprises me how attached I can become to material possessions. One of the ways I am practicing ‘letting go’ is by getting rid of one thing a day. Most days is not a challenge at all. I think as the year goes on and I get beyond the superficial stuff it might get harder.
This past week I got rid of a nice Diesel bag I had purchased a couple of years ago. I could count on my fingers the number of times I used it and I have not used it once in the past 18 months. I really struggled giving it away. I have no idea why! I don’t use it. It was just a bag. I paid under $100 so it was a big ticket item. Why are some things easy to let go and others a struggle to clear out?
I’m sure I will discover just how attached I am on a deeper level to things as the year goes on. I was reading Presence by Peter Senge, et al, over Christmas. This quote on letting go inspired me:
If we are able to integrate changes and the sense of loss that may accompany them, we take the steps towards letting go and ‘moving on’ in our lives. We will become aware of our ability to make transitions in our life without feeling overwhelmed and destabilised.
These same authors defined the idea of detachment as “getting to the different place”. So that is what this year is about for me – getting to the different place.
November 2, 2010
Courage
Today I’ve been noticing acts of courage in people all around me. Here’s just a few of them:
- Courage to consider options that might be painful
- Courage to say no
- Courage to say yes
- Courage to post something online and be vulnerable to other people’s comments
- Courage to quit
- Courage to stay
- Courage to believe that tomorrow might be better
If you wait to do everything until your sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything. – Win Borden
I’m grateful for all the courageous steps people are taking.
September 26, 2010
Messed Up
Yesterday I had conversations with two women in their early 20′s. Both of them feel a little messed up. They seem to think that there are answers and they should have things all figured out by now.
I assured them that life is messy and part of growing means being in uncharted territory where you don’t have the answers.
If you think you’ve got it all figured out you are probably not growing. The older I get the more questions I have. I have very little confidence in people who claim to have the answers.
Feeling messed up? Welcome to the club.
July 1, 2010
Back To School
I’m in my 4th week of a MA in Leadership program. It is a goal I have had for a long time and I’m excited to be finally taking steps to accomplish it.
It’s scary to be pursuing this at my stage of life. It’s also a time when I feel that my experience has positioned me well to really process the material I am learning.
I’ve got a great cohort and I look forward to meeting them in person next week when I do the 3 week residency program.
What have you wanted to do for a long time but haven’t made a reality? Why not?
March 16, 2010
Introducing “The Expectation Coach”
For years I ‘ve been teaching about change. I frequently use material based on William Bridges book Transitions. Knowing that endings are the first step in change didn’t quite prepare me for going through a major transition. However, knowing that the next stage is the transition stage has certainly helped me encourage my husband as he reinvents himself.
The unexpected benefits of a ‘forced sabbatical’ have given him the time he has dreamed of to write a book that has been brewing for years. Take some time and drop by his blog where he relates life and news experiences to the topic of expectations.
December 21, 2009
The Noticer
I just finished The Noticer by Andy Andrews. It is the first book that I had read by Andy Andrews although I have ordered another one after reading The Noticer.
I really enjoyed this book. It’s not a heavy read, in fact, it is a great bedtime reading. It is very inspiring and will give you lots of good thoughts as you drift off to sleep.
The story is about a man name ‘Jones’ who appears in peoples lives when they are in crisis and need some moral guidance and perspective. The perspective he gives saves marriages, averts suicides, rescues businesses and restores faith.
There is a great deal of wisdom in this little book. I’ve actually taken my theme for 2010 from it. Early in the story Jones says, “whatever you focus upon, increases.” I’ve been focused on that line this past week.
Our perspective is the one thing that can make a difference in any situation. What are you focused on? Where is you attention going?
The Noticer is a great place to put your attention. The time spent reading this book will be well spent. You’ll find yourself looking at things differently and asking some questions about how you are framing your circumstances in your mind. And we all know the battle begins in the mind.
