You might feel like you are but there are lots of people who are struggling to find people they really connect with. As I mentioned to one friend this week, when you are changing and growing it is only natural that you will want to find people that want the same things you are pursuing. If you have been following these posts for the last month you know we have been focused on relationships. Today’s post ends this series.
- Identify any misbeliefs you have about relationships
- Identify the type people you want or need in your life.
- Take stock of who is in your life right now. Use my relationship assessment tool.
- Decide if there are relationships that you need to move on from.
- Find your people!
Don't begin at the end! People often start there without really thinking about what they need in their lives. They end up stuck in the same cycle so please do some deep reflection on this process before you start inviting every person you meet to get together! Be strategic here. Here are 5 ideas to help your search:
Look at what you need. List the types of relationships you wish you had in your life. Be honest with yourself. Do you want a BFF? Do you wish you had someone who liked to hike or go for runs? Do you want a mentor? A coach? A business peer to talk shop with?
What is missing? Be specific!
If you said to me, “I am looking for someone who is interested in environmental issues and is trying to eliminate all single use plastic from their life. Do you know anyone I could connect with?” I would be able to think of individuals and places where you would find those people. If you told me “I need to find my people.” I wouldn’t be able to help you. Once you have identified what you are looking for you will have a better idea of where to start looking!
Look online at special interest groups. A great site is MeetUp. There are regular meet up groups for every interest you might have. I’ve joined a MeetUp group for women entrepreneurs in my city. They meet every month in a local coffee shop and they actually have a wait list of people wanting to come. Facebook groups are another great way to connect with people who share common interests. Or start a group on Facebook or LinkedIn if you can’t find one. I’m in several Facebook groups. One for writers, one for women who are self-employed. They are great places of support. And this is perfect for introverts!
Look at your current network. Who do you already know? Who do people in your current community know? What groups are you a part of? Many special interest retailers also have classes or groups to connect their customers (Lululemon, MEC and Running Room are examples.) There are churches, associations, library events and many other places focused on special interests. Don't be shy! Ask people you know to connect you with people. This is where being specific helps.
Look outside the box. When I moved a few years ago, I started walking every morning with a young mom in my neighbourhood. She is over 20 years younger than me and neither of us thought this would be more than a casual exercise relationship. As we walked for an hour 5 mornings a week we started talking about our lives. We have become very good friends. We still walk every morning but we also do other things together. We both love canning so we plan several days to do jam and sauces in the summer. We discovered we have a lot in common but we probably would never have connected if we hadn’t started walking together.
Look Back. Reflect on where you have met friends in the past. What can you learn from what has worked for you? There are millions of people out there and it is easier than ever to connect - especially when you know who you are looking for!
CALL TO ACTION: I’ve been writing A Guide to Finding Your People. It will be available on the Amazon Kindle site in June. I am looking for a small group of people who would be interested in being part of my launch team. I would provide you with an advance copy to read (it is about 100 pages long) and ask that you read it and post a review on Amazon the week of the launch. If you are interested please email me.